MIRACLE*.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

[BLUE.STAR] :D 6:42 AM

hmm just came back from chalet..
actually not realli..
after the chalet..
i went play bowlin with my relatives..
haax..
i keep gettin the lowest..
hmm looks like i dint realli focus bah..
if not i wont score so low de lol..
haiis..
donno..
i felt that i realli chn into a whole new diff person..
which i noe..i don like..
i feel that the kind of person i chn to is a person veri sad and lonely..
not happy even in happy occassion..
the person i was last time..
is a person..
who is happy at all times..
even i angry.i also happy.
even if i cry i also happy.
even if being irritate i also happy.
even if being teased i also happy.
but now..
i just cant even smile..
all my smiles now are so fake and so unhappy..
i wish to have my real smile back..
i don wish to feel so unhappy..and fake.
i wish to bring my best mood when i go out with frens everytime..
i don wan becos of mi spoil their mood..
*srys guys if i spoil ure mood smtime..i dint mean it.!
hmm..
how..
i donno how to get back to my old self?
nobody teaches mi tat..
and i'm realli at a lost..
i also donno why i become like tat..
i realli hate myself alot..!
i have no confidence in whatever i do..
musi once say if no confidence veri hard to live on..
he say cannot hate myself..
but i realli donno how..
i wont noe how to tell him whole thing.
cos i don even understand myself..
i donno what causes mi to become like tat..
he cant help mi too much also...
smtimes he just don understand mi either..
sometime i wish for a person to tok..let out all my troubles..
but i kinda at a lost..
i donno who to call who to say out to..
everyone seems so busy..
and also even if i were to call..
i wont noe how to say..
its kinda a waste of other ppl time..
ppl also have their probs..not onli mi is confused..
so i wont wan to bother anyone..
hmm..tats all bah..nites everyONE
sweet dreams..
take care
smile always..=)

[MUSIC*]